My name is Lena, and I am an ordinary woman – I love, I live, I communicate, I make mistakes, I think, I hope. And I try not to regret anything. As long as we are alive, there is always an opportunity to fix things. But there is one area in my life where I have to deal with regrets. And that zone is sex.
No, I was lucky, I had sex with everyone I wanted. I did not fall in love with actors, running away from real relationships into a world of illusions. And did not remain faithful to a single man for 20 years. All my men were real and different. But as time goes by, my only regret is that I spared many of these men.
1. Turned a blind eye to flaws
Leaving a man with a small penis was scary. And in general, is this a reason to quit? After all, “a good man”
I tried not to notice the small sexual organ. It was easy not to notice him, he was so inconspicuous. During sex, the thought often came to my mind: “Where is he at all, is he still in me or has he already left?” There was no talk about orgasm at all – a simulation forever. But it was scary to leave a man with a small sexual organ. And in general, is this a reason to quit? After all, he is a good person. Yes, and “size is not the main thing, skill is important, and as long as a man has at least one finger, he is a man,” etc.
Do you recognize public messages? With them, you can reach the apotheosis of antisex:
“Sex is not the most important thing in life, the main thing is not to drink and bring a salary to the house.”
Do you recognize yourself in them? Do you also try to make an admiring face: “Oh, what a giant” – and bend in imaginary orgasms? And I had to get up and leave. Yes, everyone has a right to happiness, men with small dicks too. But above all, I have the right to happiness. And everyone who has “little” should understand that this “little” of them must be very much compensated for with something more. But we bend and make eyes, which means that a man can not try.
2. Forgive the clutter
She forgave blindness – two positions, sex in the dark, “oral sex – oh, horror, how can you kiss you“ there ”?”, But at the same time, feedback from a woman was always welcome. This is immediately incomprehensible, restraint in sex is always present at the beginning of a relationship. However, when relationships develop, but sex does not, moreover, you find more and more taboos with your partner, you have to leave, and I stayed. Again, a positive person. Everything else except sex.
Sexual intercourse takes a few minutes, but good sex, and relationships in general, consist of a lot of tactility that we exchange with a partner.
I did not notice the lack of affection. Now I’m not talking about some sexual frills, but about the usual human warmth, when a person wants to kiss, touch, stroke once again. The intercourse itself takes a few minutes, but good sex, and relationships in general, consist of a lot of tactility that we exchange with a partner.
Of course, sex can and should be different, it’s not solid “pink snot” and kisses in all places for two hours, you can copulate quickly and hard, with almost no foreplay. But if a man has no desire at all to touch me, hug me, kiss me, I don’t want such a man, no matter how highly technical he may be in the process of the act. This coldness is very quickly felt in other aspects of the relationship.
Of course, you can warm the boy Kai with an ice floe in his heart. And I warmed up. Until she freezes. Relationships should be warm.
3. I was afraid to refuse a partner
Everything in life is built on respect. Sex included. If a man does not respect my “no”, then to hell with such a man
She was afraid to say “no” to the more and more cruel experiments of her beloved. Firstly, in romantic books, it was written that “for my beloved, even to the ends of the world,” even if this land was on the border of my personality. Second, I didn’t want to lose. Which of us has passed another wonderful introject that “if you refuse a lot, he will go to another, more accommodating one.” Everything in life is built on respect. Sex included. If a man does not respect my “no”, then to hell with such a man. If he wants pain, then let him hurt himself. And I want to be the only naked woman in the bedroom. With the only naked man who wants me, who looks at me admiringly, who is happy to touch, kiss, give pleasure.
4. Agreed to sex ahead of time
She agreed to have sex earlier than she wanted. There is no limit on when sex should appear in a relationship – on the first date or six months later. Probably the main indicator for this is attraction. I didn’t let the attraction develop. Yes, I liked the man, he was interesting, handsome, and I was in a hurry to be on time, so as not to be considered touchy. She answered “yes” to a man’s hasty “come on”, but she should have said: “No, I’m not ready yet.” And if he left, it means that this is not my man at all, but he left anyway, leaving the same hasty and uninteresting sex as a memory.
Being silent and agreeing that you feel bad does not mean making the situation good. It won’t turn “bad” into “good”. And even more sex.
I’m sorry I’ve been silent for so long or said “yes” instead of “no”. Our desire to please comes from childhood. First, we want to please our parents in order to earn love. Then we want to like each other, especially if the parents did not like it. And society as a whole accepts positive and pleasant people who do not make noise, do not behave rudely, agree, smile, are silent where necessary.
5. Agreed to everything, as long as he did not leave
Our eternal female “would be nice next to me” also affected sexual relations. When for the sake of this “nearby” we are ready not only to move mountains but even to disassemble ourselves and rebuild ourselves, “the way he wants.” So we get used to “cut corners”.
We are all born different – triangles, squares, circles, zigzags, dots, someone even a shell. And then we mold ourselves into an amorphous “something” so that everyone likes it, so that “darling loves”. Any conformism is violence against oneself. Being silent and agreeing that you feel bad does not mean making the situation good. It won’t turn “bad” into “good”. And even more sex. And if sex is bad, the relationship will fall apart anyway. For sex to be good, both should try. Do not spare your men, talk to them about what you don’t like, or leave immediately when it’s useless to talk. Then there will definitely be more good sex in your life.
