Why do we give each other different things on holidays – from teddy bears to slow cookers – and how to choose the right gift?
Gift exchange is as old as the world. Many nationalities have such a custom: to give gifts to a neighboring tribe. They give us a bull – and we give them two, and in return, a whole herd … This attraction of unprecedented generosity has quite rational roots. The giver and the receiver enter into a special relationship that obliges both to give just like that, to accept with joy, and to respond to a gesture. It turns out a triple knot that magically holds the relationship together. If, after everything we gave them, they try to attack, who will they be after that?!
Holidays are the right time for this magical event. sacred time. Let the table burst with treats! May everyone get something of value! Let the heavens (which are just now paying special attention to earthly affairs) see how generous we are – and reward us a hundredfold!.
And there is nothing shameful in this slightly naive trick. Gifts always combine both an altruistic desire to please and a self-esteem-supporting desire to be thanked and considered good. But we are really good!
What Our Gifts say About Us
The fact that we choose to make our loved ones happy says a lot of interesting things about ourselves.
● “Benefit is the main thing.” The desire that the thing is useful in the household speaks not only of the increased “households” of the giver but also of his educational inclinations.
● “With fiction.” A present that needs to be given a lot of time and effort (living beings are especially “good” in this sense!), Signals that the benefactor thinks little about others and their circumstances: get it and take care of it as you want. (Unless, of course, the person himself expressed an ardent desire to get an indoor terrarium …)
A gift that diversifies life, but not in a violent way, speaks of greater attention to the recipient and real concern for his leisure. Let’s say a camera: if you want – click, if you don’t want – don’t.
● “Golden Mountains”. There are also lovers of chic gestures. They will bestow so bestow! Definitely something expensive, spectacular. And it’s not always the moneybags. What to say about such a patron? Or he subconsciously strives to dominate everyone. Or he sincerely believes that the scale of love and care is best shown by the scale of the offering, that is, there is something infantile and romantic in it. How the gifted person feels when receiving a diamond – touched or addicted – depends on the further behavior of the donor.
● “Modestly, but tastefully.” But from this type of comrades, on the contrary, you will not expect anything more luxurious than a postcard or a key ring. They do not understand the pleasure of walking and choosing, packing and decorating, presenting and surprising … Perhaps this is not a consequence of stinginess. And the consequences of the fact that a person in childhood with official events and stereotyped congratulations managed to beat off the desire for creativity and fiction, and in general love for the holidays. He will better support morally, save from the river or lend the right amount.
● “I wanted this myself.” For example, a book that is most interesting to read. After all, you can take it to read … Or some others bring their favorite sweets for the holiday – anyway, the owner will not hide it in the refrigerator, but will share it with everyone. Here, probably, no psychology is needed: anyone can tell how exactly such “Danaans” differ. But let’s not be offended by them. Let those who need them most rejoice in their gifts.
What To Give To Loved Ones
A gift is a delicate matter. How not miss it? There are no mandatory rules here, but there are some common features.
● A very effective method is to call for inspiration. After all, the best gifts are made on a whim, when it pierces: “Here! That is what it is!” But for this, you need to devote more time to the selection of presents, go hunting in advance. Because when at the last moment you rush between the two nearest stores, one of which was closed for repairs today, the possibilities are minimized and you have to grab what was. And the chance or non-randomness of the gift is felt …
● The most valuable and memorable gift – “with meaning”, “from myself”. Even if you are not aware of the hobby of a friend or acquaintance, their addictions can be judged from the style of clothing, manners, habits, and words that give it away. A cat lover will be delighted with anything decorated with funny cat figures, and a lover of changing kerchiefs every day – a similar thing.
● A good option is to present to a person something that will definitely come in handy for him, but which he will not buy for himself. Let’s say a friend is fond of needlework. Does she have everything she needs? But after all, in the relevant stores, there are all sorts of tricky markers, improved hoops, or paints with an intricate effect, on which she herself will not go broke. And you pamper her.
What Not To Give
Since the gift is an ancient phenomenon, it has managed to acquire a mass of stable opinions and taboos. And it is better not to give something for rational reasons.
● It is believed that you can not give a watch – it promises separation (communication time expires). Anything sharp and cutting promises quarrels, and containers for money – lack of money. Here, tradition prescribes tricky moves: for a gift knife, give a symbolic penny (allegedly this is not a gift, but a purchase!), And put at least a small amount of money in a gift wallet.
● Money in most cases is not considered a particularly good gift. At the same time, many people admit that they would be happy with just such a gift! Especially if you need something specific, but you don’t want to beg for it in plain text, or when you are in cramped circumstances. Will the statuettes, please?
● Offend gift? Easy! Everyone remembers how sad it becomes when an object that seems to be intended for special joy is from the category of “you would have acquired it anyway”: when you receive tights from your parents as a child and a vacuum cleaner from your husband as an adult. Or if the offering highlights the flaws of the recipient. Do not give a freckled sufferer even the most exclusive and beautifully packaged remedy for the subject of her suffering!
● It’s better for a gift to be neutral than too intimate or inappropriately familiar (underwear – only for a friend, from whom there are no secrets from toddlers!). In order to successfully choose perfumes, cosmetics, or clothes even for a loved one, you need to be a real virtuoso. Better the thirtieth box in the collection than a perfume that will give you a headache!
Editor’s advice. If a gift is chosen from a pure heart and tastefully decorated, it is not so important whether it complies with all possible prescriptions and superstitions. Not without reason, after all, the same traditions order “not to look gift horses in the mouth” and not to redistribute what was received as a gift! This is all because any package with a ribbon is not just a thing. A particle of the donor’s soul passes into this thing. So we share on holidays not only material values!
