The theme of the female orgasm, on the one hand, is replicated, and on the other, it is taboo. You can admit that you see “the sky in diamonds” every night, more than once, but to say that you have not experienced an orgasm and have never experienced it at all, “Oh, so you must be a frigid woman.”
The inability to experience an orgasm sits in our heads with you. How did we “plant” it there and what should we do?
Frigidity in the medical sense is a sexual dysfunction caused by a number of serious reasons, such as hormonal disorders, gynecological diseases, severe psychological trauma, etc. In this case, treatment and rehabilitation are required, but in fact, there are not many such situations.
Otherwise, the inability to experience an orgasm sits in our heads with you. How did we “plant” it there and what should we do?
Why don’t women get orgasms?
Understanding that women also want sex , they want different sex, with different men and at different times, and most importantly, the appropriation of the fact that the desire for sex does not denigrate the personality in any way helps to improve the quality of this very sex. Yes, and quantity too.
1. Public prohibitions. In my opinion, the root cause of the inability to experience orgasm lies in the social prohibition of the pleasure of sex. Moreover, it is the woman who is denied the pleasure of sex by society. The roots of this lie in those ancient times, when a woman was considered the property of a man, respectively, and her life was aimed at serving the interests of this very man, home, and family. Where is it not only to experience your own pleasures but at least to think about them?
2. Moral dogmas. The origins of all moral norms, such as chastity, or at least its appearance, also lie in those ancient times and are the limiters of pleasure. Yes, of course, you can say: “What is chastity and morality these days,” but who among you dares to go or admit that she went to have sex with a man after the first date? Or even met a man just for sex? Or paid a man for sex? Why? Because they will say or think badly about you. Even close friends. And you yourself will think what the same man with whom you slept after the first date will think of you. Will he decide that you are easily accessible, that you always do this, that you can only talk about sex with him? There was also no sex or there was little, and how many self-flagellation and self-restraints already, where can an orgasm break through them?
Public messages complement parental ones. It is not uncommon for mothers to instill in girls the messages “all men are goats”, “all men need only one thing from you”, “don’t bring it in the hem”, girls are also taught to use sex as a tool to control a man. Sex can be rewarded or punished. A man did something good, right, from the point of view of a woman, – “gave”, he did something wrong – he was excommunicated from the body for a month. Yes, and in this very word “gave” there is so much disrespect for a woman, in general for human nature and sexuality. We don’t just give, we also receive. Men bring pleasure with their body, smell, touch, action, and desire to bring us to the peak. Otherwise, what then is the meaning of all bed movements?
So, understanding that women also want sex, they want different sex, with different men and at different times, and most importantly, appropriation of the fact that the desire for sex does not denigrate the personality in any way helps to improve the quality of this very sex. Yes, and quantity too.
3. Lack of knowledge about sex. In addition to public messages, it is also important that no one teaches us to have sex. Yes, there are all sorts of technical things, like porn on the Web or the same Kama Sutra, but this is exactly the technique. And women are not multicookers, you can’t write instruction manuals for them.
What to do?
If you yourself do not recognize your body and do not understand how and from what you get an orgasm, then how can a man understand this?
1. Know your body. This will help masturbation. Try first to bring yourself to orgasm yourself, study yourself, your body. Experiment with hands, shower, vibrator, and other sex toys. Yes, no need to blush. The modern world has become so convenient to consume that you don’t even have to go to a sex shop. All purchases can be made online without leaving home. Delivery is carried out either by courier or by mail. In both cases, everything is sealed in impervious bags or boxes, there are no identification marks on them, and no one will know what exactly you bought. If you yourself do not recognize your body and do not understand how and from what you get an orgasm, then how can a man understand this? For him, your body is even more terra incognita than for yourself.
2. Phase of the menstrual cycle. Also, the female orgasm is very related to physiology. The ability to achieve or not achieve orgasm is determined by the menstrual cycle. During some periods of the cycle, you can experience excitement, you can want to have sex, but not reach the peak simply because this is a “non-peak” period. You need to understand this yourself, then the tension from the pressure of the installation subsides: “Every woman should experience an orgasm from every sex, otherwise she is frigid”, respectively, you can relax. It is also good to explain this to the man so that he does not feel that he did something wrong.
Simulate or not?
If you overhear how men share about women among themselves, then they brag not so much about the number of partners, but about the number of orgasms that a woman experienced with them
Another very important question – to simulate or not to simulate an orgasm? The answer to it affects yet another social attitude, but already in men’s heads. The measure of a man’s sexual success is the female orgasm. Anyone who’s ever been in bed with a man can tell you how they anxiously ask, “Did you have an orgasm?” – how they break into a smile and enjoy, like children, if they hear in response not only “yes”, but also more than once. If you overhear how men share about women among themselves, then they brag not so much about the number of partners, but about the number of orgasms that a woman experienced with them. I don’t know what is the reason for this fixation. Maybe it’s because the structural features of our bodies are such that a woman can always accept a man into herself and can always portray the joy of this acceptance. It’s more difficult for a man
The woman quietly played, and no one knew what was really going on there. The man, however, could not hide the failure, he is ashamed in front of him, and there is also a witness, a woman – this is a double shame
Most likely, in the “grip” of this double shame, a man always tries to be on top, to show all the best in bed, and the result of this show should be multiple female orgasms.
Therefore, I choose to feign when it comes to new partners with whom sex is just beginning. It is clear that we are only “getting to know each other”, getting used to each other’s bodies, studying. Orgasms in this process may or may not happen. But I need a happy and confident man next to me. And not the one who is worried about why he did not bring me to orgasm for all three sexual contacts.
If the relationship with a partner is good, long, and trusting, then I don’t play. We discuss everything, including the fact that today I may simply be unable to have an orgasm. The moon has risen. However, as personal experience shows, even in such a trusting relationship, a man, with all his understanding, can start to get nervous and ask questions if an orgasm has not happened twice in a row. The forces of attitudes can be stronger than the mind.
Therefore… Spare your men. Women’s natures and in general the whole nature of a woman is much thinner than the simple and unpretentious world of men. We ourselves do not always understand where we can expect miracles from men. Proud of himself and his ability to magically satisfy a woman, a man is capable of many other feats. Let them be done!
