The experience of political technologies would be of great help to everyone in family life, psychologist Anastasia Rubtsova thought. And she offered half-joking advice on how to introduce technologies of influence into our relations. As always, jokes are jokes, but there is something to think about …
Political technologies and, in general, techniques of influence surround us in a dense, friendly ring. Vote for this one, but this one. Our brain already knows how to ignore advertising signals, and many of us even naively believe that we have become completely insensitive to manipulation … And only the wisest suspect: since I do not feel manipulation, it means that it is just a little thinner than I can suspect.
So back to love and family life. At the appointment with a psychologist or psychoanalyst, many couples ask all the same questions … Let’s imagine how political technologists would answer them!
He (she) can’t hear me, what should I do?
It always helps a lot to imagine that you are a candidate for deputy, and the other person is a voter.
And it immediately becomes clear that the other person does not hear, because he is not interested.
Tell interesting. Tell a story that the person will want to hear. A story in which not only your feelings and problems will be present, but also a little bit of him. Find a channel through which he is ready to receive information, and do not try to impose your channels.
He sits, buried in the phone – ok, shoot a video for him. You can be naked if it’s a partner. This greatly enlivens the intra-family discussion. If this is your child or parent, don’t be naked.
He (she) does not understand me, what should I do?
Speak clearly. Generally speaking, no one is obliged to understand us if we do not understand ourselves.
This does not mean that we should not talk about our feelings, but it would be nice to express them in such a way that the other side does not have to painfully guess what is even going on right now. Is it an orgasm or asthma?
Because (from the experience of political technologies) the other side will not guess. She will go to read the news or correspond with her friend. Formulate abstracts in advance, without trying to say too much at once.
The golden rule of a political strategist sounds like “one leaflet – one thought.” And do not cram ten thoughts into an evening conversation over tea. The thought should be formulated in very simple words, no adverbial turns, no abstractionism, and mannerism.
He/she doesn’t care about me! What to do?
Show the other person that taking care of you is beneficial to him. Feel free to point out what the benefits are.
Don’t say “he already knows”. People often forget that they owe someone good things in life. Such is our human nature. Don’t say that the other person “must remember”. No one owes you anything, and human memory is a terribly unreliable tool.
And here’s another important point. After you’ve shown the other that it’s a good idea to take care of you, don’t forget to check that he has basic skills. That he roughly understands where, at what points, you need this care. Tell me how to make tea to bring to you in bed. Write a list of chores around the house and show a website that explains them in detail.
Make life easier for the voter, but don’t deprive them of the pleasure of ticking the box themselves. And don’t give ultimatums, you won’t like the result.
And finally, one more important note. It would seem, proceeding from this, political technologists should be the happiest people in family life. But no.
So don’t take this text too seriously. But smiling and looking at your problems from a different angle is definitely worth it!
