Do you agree to have sex with the man you love if you don’t want to? Is it worth faking an orgasm if it is important for a partner? And how should one relate to sex in the conditions of the new ethics? Our expert Elena Shpundra has her own opinion on this matter.
About the new ethics
We live in the time of the formation of a new ethic. And thank God. The old one with her “no” means “yes”, neither a kiss without love, pickup courses, and training “Find the Goddess in yourself” and “How to open the energy of the uterus” were definitely no good. And will give us reasons for tears and grounds for lawsuits for a long time to come.
The time of growth is always painful, in the heat of the collapse of the “fetters” one can not notice either the “wall” to which they are screwed, or the “house”, or the “roof”. No people. And free yourself so that there are no survivors within a kilometer radius. So, we need to talk and negotiate. What is what in the new world?
About faking an orgasm
Now many people are talking and writing about how evil the simulation of orgasm is, about the fact that a husband should be denied sex, more precisely, women’s “wants” are now the only true beacons.
Husband, stand on the shore and wait until it catches fire!
Blowjob in general in exchange for cunnilingus. Since diamonds are not in fashion. I just don’t know how this pact of mutual satisfaction should be concluded and look like “You are the first! No – you’re the first!”? “Rock Paper Scissors”? “Yu-ze-fa”?
Personally, I find it sad. Because people still create a couple for the other. No, you can, of course, play “u-ze-fa” as well. But in a world where there are no more mammoths, and a sperm bank has been created for conception, loneliness becomes the biggest problem of modern man. When even sex and service are firmly online, there is an unprecedented value in the quality co-presence of another or others in your life. And a couple for me about it. When a person is good together. Better than with yourself or with a cat.
About mismatches in sex
But only this “good” for two does not always coincide at the moment. And sex is one of the many places where mismatches show up. My husband wants sex, but I don’t. He’s already having an orgasm, and I’m not even halfway there yet. I want something specific from him, but he is tired and not in the mood, and so on. And here you can say “I have the right to refuse, I have the right to an orgasm, I am not obliged to agree.”
Denial of sex is perceived by men as rejection and hurts a lot.
But life shows me how vulnerable men are in bed. And how crammed with stereotypes in it. Moreover, my husband is a man of a different culture and mentality. But in the sex zone, everything is the same: rejection is perceived as rejection and hurts, the absence of female orgasm – he did a bad job and is generally a bad lover. And it is useless to explain that the female orgasm is associated with the phases of the menstrual cycle and some days I am not capable of it purely physiologically. And this does not mean that there was bad sex or that he did not try. But simply because female arousal has a different nature.
About pain points and crowns
So yes, when it doesn’t matter to me, I choose to agree to sex and give out the cherished note of the final, if I understand that I won’t reach it. According to the new ethics, as well as according to the old one. But not because I can’t free myself from the shackles. But because even in the presence of love and passion and a joyful “good together” relationship is constantly tested for strength by the outside world.
And I don’t want to make it more complicated. Do not stomp on the partner’s pain points, at least on those that you see. Because there are a bunch of others that are not visible and that we step on each other anyway. I want to take care of each other, and not scratch their egos with crowns.
What do you think? Do you agree to have sex with a partner if you don’t want to
