Tamriko Sholi is a famous Ukrainian writer. We met about four years ago, just when Tamriko moved to live in Germany. Then I interviewed her for another publication.
Her book “Inside a Woman”, which is now a real bestseller, only gained popularity. We can say that it was the interview with Tamriko that started my new step in journalism. Leaving politics for a women’s publication.
Of course, when I found out about the arrival of Tamriko Sholi in Kyiv, I immediately wrote to her. Traditionally, we met in a cozy place near Lev Tolstoy Square, and I can hardly remember a more pleasant, relaxed conversation lately.
- Tamiko, we haven’t seen each other for several years. What was this time filled with for you?
In principle, if you look from the point of view of the universe, 4.5 years is not so much. But during this time I managed to make a big leap. My growth of me as a writer and the experience of living abroad changes everything.
Initially, I had no plans to leave for Germany for a long time. In Ukraine at that time, I was little known to anyone, I quit my job as chief editor, and it was easy to decide to move. A couple of months later, Folio published my book “Inside a Woman”, but I did not know if it would be a success. After the Euromaidan, there was a big wave of patriotism, and I understood that people might not be up to a book in Russian about women’s experiences.
But unexpectedly for me, having moved to Wiesbaden, interest arose sharply in me, and the number of subscribers increased. The book entered the top sellers. And recently, with a different publishing house, we re-printed “Inside the Man” and “Inside the Woman” in hardcover, which I am very proud of.
- Do you already feel at home in Germany?
I lived three years in Wiesbaden and more than a year in Frankfurt. In Frankfurt, I really feel at home. Wiesbaden is a very small, quiet city, in which an aristocratic layer of Germans has remained, most of whom are already over 70.
Despite the fact that Wiesbaden is the capital of the federal state of Hesse in western Germany, unlike Frankfurt, it is more provincial. There is practically zero crime and people walk down the street in pajama style.
After living there for about 2.5 years, I realized that I was starting to lose myself a little. I got bored with preening, putting on red lipstick, and wearing a nice dress – to the theater or on a date. Then I decided to move to Frankfurt.
- I remember how you learned German. How are you doing with him now?
I passed the exam. But passing the exam and actually using the language are two very different things. Fact that I still have an average level of the language, I realized while studying at the university. The teacher used a lot of terminologies and spoke quickly, so I did not understand 70% of what was said.
They say that the peak of knowledge of the language is a free conversation on the phone. I can’t do it freely yet.
Reading in German is perhaps the easiest for me. I watch movies without credits. I write well, but slowly, looking at the rules. Foreigners always often forget about articles, I am no exception. I like to speak quickly because I make mistakes in sentences.
- You have the hardening of the media.
That’s for sure 🙂 I can talk to Tina Kandelaki in speed.’
- You have almost 42,000 followers on Facebook. How often do people write in private?
I kept the first messages like diamonds, took screenshots, and answered in detail. But then I received two messages a week. And now I get from 20 to 50 messages a day. I’m already silent about the “filtered” folder.
At the moment, it has ceased to oppress me that I do not answer everyone. A huge number of messages from strangers that I receive is absolute nonsense. For example, once a man wrote to me: “Tamriko, is it true that you were bald?” And I have never been, but he had these thoughts from somewhere. Now I have learned not to react to such things. Often just say “hello”. I don’t respond to people I don’t know. There simply isn’t time for this.
- Do they write bad things?
Often they send nasty things. For example, I teach women the wrong thing. I always want to answer that I don’t teach them anything at all. But often I do not answer, because there will be a long conversation about nothing. Sometimes people rate my appearance. If it used to hurt me insanely, now it doesn’t.
It happens that women send long letters in which they tell the story of their relationship in detail, and then ask me for advice. On the one hand, I am pleased, on the other hand, I can’t help at all. Firstly, I am not a psychologist, and secondly, I am not married and never have been. Thirdly, at 32, I came to the conclusion that any relationship is a lottery. You can meet one person, get married, and in a few years he will show himself from a completely different side, and you will disperse like ships in the sea. Nobody wants to become a legend first. Many people need everything at once.
Everyone constantly says to me: “Tamriko, where is your Instagram?”. Will! As soon as there is more time. Blogging is not as easy as it seems. Beautifully photograph the same smoothie, then process the image.
Running both Facebook and Instagram at the same time is difficult. And, as a rule, those who are popular on Instagram, have almost no movement on Facebook.
Now many people want to become Instagrammers because of gifts. But this is the wrong approach. Brands that understand the blogger’s audience will not just pay money and even give gifts. Nobody wants to be a legend first. Many people need everything at once. There is no manuscript yet, but we have already filmed a photoshoot for the cover of the book.
- Do you notice that Facebook’s algorithms are also changing?
Now everything has gone downhill. Algorithms really change and it is not clear how the feed is updated. But I have also changed and I understand that the involvement of people also depends on my publications.
- You are very thoughtful about your content.
Yes. And because of this, many people think that I have no personal life. I have it. I just don’t talk about it at all – I really take care of my loved ones. I don’t want this to give rise to further discussion. For this reason, I do not publish photos with my loved ones.
I can determine my privacy myself, and I have no right to use the privacy zone of other people in my own interests. General idealization does not allow us to really see how we fit each other.
Before, I was quite amorous – I idealized people very much and did not accept any shortcomings. Did you kill people? Not? Fits.
General idealization does not allow us to really see how we fit each other. In principle, girls are more susceptible to this than men, because they, as a rule, see faster whether a relationship will turn out or not. We are then offended, we begin to write posts that you did not know me, if you gave me a chance, I would do everything that we approached each other. Now I don’t idealize people like that anymore. I see much more clearly not so much a man as myself.
- As it turns out, for most writers inspiration was in suffering. Are you more inspired by love or suffering?
Definitely in love and positive emotions. When I’m nervous or worried, I get terrible, chaotic lyrics. Many people cannot imagine this, but I have moments when I can lie on the couch all day and suffer. Such a state is not easy to transfer to others. But this state of affairs passes quickly.
- You actively give master classes in Kyiv. What does it give you as a writer?
Repetition is the mother of learning. Every time I repeat the information for myself – about the texts, how to write them correctly. Each new lecture is not like the previous one. Somewhere I go deeper and change the structure.
Very often, in lectures, people ask questions that never occurred to me, and in an attempt to answer for myself, I discover something new. It is very cool. And, of course, masterclasses are also earnings. I don’t deny it.
- Last time you told me that the Germans like to read thick books, they travel in huge volumes. Where are the trends going now?
Nothing changed. They are still very fond of reading large paper books. Still fiction, crime, and romance novels. In general, the Germans read a lot, but it cannot be said that they have a very refined taste in literature. Especially among the middle class. These aren’t bad books, but they aren’t heavy classics either.
- You told me that you see how Kyiv is changing. What are these changes for you?
There are many new cafes and restaurants. It is also amusing to observe how much friendship between Ukraine and Georgia is growing. I am half Georgian, and I remember that in my school years everything was different.
And Kyiv is getting faster every year. Competition, the unstable economic situation – it is important for people to quickly earn money so that there is some kind of airbag. There are a lot more cars – everyone is in a hurry, traffic jams, and fuss. Every time I come and it seems to me that the rhythm of the city increases again. I love Kyiv in my own way, but this is not my city. For me, it’s fast. They tell me that I haven’t seen Moscow or New York, and I don’t want to. If they are even faster than Kyiv, I don’t need to go there.
In Kyiv every year there are more and more show-offs. What places to visit, what clothes to wear, who to be friends with. Compared to Germany, Kyiv has a very good service. In Kyiv establishments, a coffee card is for several pages. But I regularly read on Facebook how bad things are. In Germany, they will show you the door right away. These are show-offs.
- If you met yourself at 18, what would you say to yourself?
Nothing. Because I came to the conclusion that at that moment I would not have understood anything. I just don’t have enough life experience. By and large, my mother told me the most important thing in life before the age of 10. “Depression? Wash the floors.” Only after 30 years, did I understand the meaning of this phrase.
Writer Tamriko Sholi: “I Don’t Have Time To Read Nasty Things In The Comments”
Her book “Inside a Woman”, which is now a real bestseller, only gained popularity. We can say that it was the interview with Tamriko that started my new step in journalism. Leaving politics for a women’s publication.
Of course, when I found out about the arrival of Tamriko Sholi in Kyiv, I immediately wrote to her. Traditionally, we met in a cozy place near Lev Tolstoy Square, and I can hardly remember a more pleasant, relaxed conversation lately.
In principle, if you look from the point of view of the universe, 4.5 years is not so much. But during this time I managed to make a big leap. My growth of me as a writer and the experience of living abroad changes everything.
Initially, I had no plans to leave for Germany for a long time. In Ukraine at that time, I was little known to anyone, I quit my job as chief editor, and it was easy to decide to move. A couple of months later, Folio published my book “Inside a Woman”, but I did not know if it would be a success. After the Euromaidan, there was a big wave of patriotism, and I understood that people might not be up to a book in Russian about women’s experiences.
But unexpectedly for me, having moved to Wiesbaden, interest arose sharply in me, and the number of subscribers increased. The book entered the top sellers. And recently, with a different publishing house, we re-printed “Inside the Man” and “Inside the Woman” in hardcover, which I am very proud of.
I lived three years in Wiesbaden and more than a year in Frankfurt. In Frankfurt, I really feel at home. Wiesbaden is a very small, quiet city, in which an aristocratic layer of Germans has remained, most of whom are already over 70.
Despite the fact that Wiesbaden is the capital of the federal state of Hesse in western Germany, unlike Frankfurt, it is more provincial. There is practically zero crime and people walk down the street in pajama style.
After living there for about 2.5 years, I realized that I was starting to lose myself a little. I got bored with preening, putting on red lipstick, and wearing a nice dress – to the theater or on a date. Then I decided to move to Frankfurt.
I passed the exam. But passing the exam and actually using the language are two very different things. Fact that I still have an average level of the language, I realized while studying at the university. The teacher used a lot of terminologies and spoke quickly, so I did not understand 70% of what was said.
They say that the peak of knowledge of the language is a free conversation on the phone. I can’t do it freely yet.
Reading in German is perhaps the easiest for me. I watch movies without credits. I write well, but slowly, looking at the rules. Foreigners always often forget about articles, I am no exception. I like to speak quickly because I make mistakes in sentences.
That’s for sure 🙂 I can talk to Tina Kandelaki in speed.’
I kept the first messages like diamonds, took screenshots, and answered in detail. But then I received two messages a week. And now I get from 20 to 50 messages a day. I’m already silent about the “filtered” folder.
At the moment, it has ceased to oppress me that I do not answer everyone. A huge number of messages from strangers that I receive is absolute nonsense. For example, once a man wrote to me: “Tamriko, is it true that you were bald?” And I have never been, but he had these thoughts from somewhere. Now I have learned not to react to such things. Often just say “hello”. I don’t respond to people I don’t know. There simply isn’t time for this.
Often they send nasty things. For example, I teach women the wrong thing. I always want to answer that I don’t teach them anything at all. But often I do not answer, because there will be a long conversation about nothing. Sometimes people rate my appearance. If it used to hurt me insanely, now it doesn’t.
It happens that women send long letters in which they tell the story of their relationship in detail, and then ask me for advice. On the one hand, I am pleased, on the other hand, I can’t help at all. Firstly, I am not a psychologist, and secondly, I am not married and never have been. Thirdly, at 32, I came to the conclusion that any relationship is a lottery. You can meet one person, get married, and in a few years he will show himself from a completely different side, and you will disperse like ships in the sea. Nobody wants to become a legend first. Many people need everything at once.
Everyone constantly says to me: “Tamriko, where is your Instagram?”. Will! As soon as there is more time. Blogging is not as easy as it seems. Beautifully photograph the same smoothie, then process the image.
Running both Facebook and Instagram at the same time is difficult. And, as a rule, those who are popular on Instagram, have almost no movement on Facebook.
Now many people want to become Instagrammers because of gifts. But this is the wrong approach. Brands that understand the blogger’s audience will not just pay money and even give gifts. Nobody wants to be a legend first. Many people need everything at once. There is no manuscript yet, but we have already filmed a photoshoot for the cover of the book.
Now everything has gone downhill. Algorithms really change and it is not clear how the feed is updated. But I have also changed and I understand that the involvement of people also depends on my publications.
Yes. And because of this, many people think that I have no personal life. I have it. I just don’t talk about it at all – I really take care of my loved ones. I don’t want this to give rise to further discussion. For this reason, I do not publish photos with my loved ones.
I can determine my privacy myself, and I have no right to use the privacy zone of other people in my own interests. General idealization does not allow us to really see how we fit each other.
Before, I was quite amorous – I idealized people very much and did not accept any shortcomings. Did you kill people? Not? Fits.
General idealization does not allow us to really see how we fit each other. In principle, girls are more susceptible to this than men, because they, as a rule, see faster whether a relationship will turn out or not. We are then offended, we begin to write posts that you did not know me, if you gave me a chance, I would do everything that we approached each other. Now I don’t idealize people like that anymore. I see much more clearly not so much a man as myself.
Definitely in love and positive emotions. When I’m nervous or worried, I get terrible, chaotic lyrics. Many people cannot imagine this, but I have moments when I can lie on the couch all day and suffer. Such a state is not easy to transfer to others. But this state of affairs passes quickly.
Repetition is the mother of learning. Every time I repeat the information for myself – about the texts, how to write them correctly. Each new lecture is not like the previous one. Somewhere I go deeper and change the structure.
Very often, in lectures, people ask questions that never occurred to me, and in an attempt to answer for myself, I discover something new. It is very cool. And, of course, masterclasses are also earnings. I don’t deny it.
Nothing changed. They are still very fond of reading large paper books. Still fiction, crime, and romance novels. In general, the Germans read a lot, but it cannot be said that they have a very refined taste in literature. Especially among the middle class. These aren’t bad books, but they aren’t heavy classics either.
There are many new cafes and restaurants. It is also amusing to observe how much friendship between Ukraine and Georgia is growing. I am half Georgian, and I remember that in my school years everything was different.
And Kyiv is getting faster every year. Competition, the unstable economic situation – it is important for people to quickly earn money so that there is some kind of airbag. There are a lot more cars – everyone is in a hurry, traffic jams, and fuss. Every time I come and it seems to me that the rhythm of the city increases again. I love Kyiv in my own way, but this is not my city. For me, it’s fast. They tell me that I haven’t seen Moscow or New York, and I don’t want to. If they are even faster than Kyiv, I don’t need to go there.
In Kyiv every year there are more and more show-offs. What places to visit, what clothes to wear, who to be friends with. Compared to Germany, Kyiv has a very good service. In Kyiv establishments, a coffee card is for several pages. But I regularly read on Facebook how bad things are. In Germany, they will show you the door right away. These are show-offs.
Nothing. Because I came to the conclusion that at that moment I would not have understood anything. I just don’t have enough life experience. By and large, my mother told me the most important thing in life before the age of 10. “Depression? Wash the floors.” Only after 30 years, did I understand the meaning of this phrase.