What do men want? Is sex appeal tied to age? And is it so important – to remain desirable? Our expert, psychologist Elena Shpundra, discusses what worries every woman without underestimation.
The October 2019 cover of US Harper’s BAZAAR featured a nude Demi Moore. Of the clothes on her – only a wide-brimmed hat and Demi’s years are no less than 57.
In response to this, the well-known blogger Lena Miro posted a whole post in which she wrote that “for men, there is no such thing as a sexy 36-year-old pussy. Not to mention the pussy of a 56-year-old. Men don’t want anyone over 25, and therefore the sexualization of an elderly body looks pathetic, don’t be, women, funny.
Lena also went negatively through the 2017 Pirelli calendar, in which the late Peter Lindbergh shot the brightest Hollywood actresses of different generations: Julianne Moore, Nicole Kidman, Robin Wright, Uma Thurman, Kate Winslet, Jessica Chastain, Charlotte Rampling, Penelope Cruz, Rooney Mara, Helen Mirren, Lupita Nyong’o, Lea Seydoux, Alicia Vikander, Zhang Ziyi. Some of these women are filmed in negligees.
Hellen Mirren is 75 years old, Lea Seydoux is 35 years old, Zhang Ziyi is 41 years old, Alicia Vikander is 32 years old. But Lena called all of them “old women”, because “men don’t want these anymore – and this is not ageism, but the truth of life.”
In the comments to the post, opinions were divided, but most of the women – and it is women who are the most active audience of subscribers on the network – agreed and wrote: “So it is.”
In this place, I am in no hurry to shout “Help!” and stigmatize anyone. I’m 45 in a few days and I think about age a lot. More precisely, about their relationship with him.
Of course, the world has changed a lot even in the past decade. Medicine and cosmetology have reached such heights that WHO has pushed the age limits. Now the age from 25 to 44 years is considered young, 44-60 years old is middle age, 60-75 years old is old age, 75-90 years old is old age, and after 90 years old comes longevity. Women began to actively earn, which means that they have access to all the benefits in the field of health and beauty.
At the same time, old age moved away, but did not disappear. It’s scary even to step into the elderly zone. There – menopause, loss of reproductive functions, less energy, more wrinkles. “Fakability” is also leaving. But it is with it that we get used to measuring our value, starting from the time of puberty. Do all the guys want you? Cool, you’re the popular girl at school. All the guys want you, even the teachers lick your lips – everything, you are the star of the university, all the Instagram subscribers want you – you are just a star.
The value of a man lies in his social achievements and financial level. Nobody cares about Harrison Ford’s sex appeal or age. More precisely, he will be endowed with sex appeal even at 95 – simply because success and fame for a man are equal to sexuality. And, I am sure, many would consider themselves flattered if he showed a sexual interest in them. This is Harrison Ford. Or Albert Einstein. Or Woody Allen.
But the value of a woman, no matter what she achieves, continues to be determined by the number of men who want her. And women themselves think so. Accordingly, the main fear is not old age itself, but this “they will stop wanting me”.
And indeed, many smart, interesting, bright women go crazy with age and become ridiculous precisely on this basis – in an attempt to prove that everyone wants them. But they are not in nude photos at all.
I watch the ladies from my environment, who have already stepped over half a century.
It has become simply impossible to communicate with some of them, because all their conversations revolve around “everyone wants me, everyone fights for me, my new lover thinks that I am 35, and he is only 24, we had amazing sex as many as 4 times yesterday.”
The zone of interest of a woman is narrowed down to a man’s penis – and she is trying to present this penis to everyone. And this looks pathetic. Even if the woman herself looks beautiful at the same time. With one friend, I broke off communication after she sent me a photo of her lover’s genitals in an erect form. Say, look what a jade rod is on me.
I don’t know, maybe someday I’ll be fun too. My fifty dollars is not far off. But for now, I think that a healthy relationship with age is when you lose the desire to prove something to someone. When you don’t think who wants you and if anyone wants you at all. Because you stop checking your attitude towards yourself with the eyes of other people, especially with their genitals.
And the naked photos on the cover of Harper’s BAZAAR are not an attempt to confirm the sexy. This is the freedom to be. And the freedom to be different.
My age is freedom. Understand that everything in life is temporary. And youth, and beauty, and love, and an elastic ass.
And any men. Cause one day I’ll be completely alone. Even my old faithful cat will go beyond the horizon, into the rainbow. The only person who will always be with me is myself.
When you remove the super value of other people in your life or the super value of functions, then there is a chance to gain your own value. And it’s not scary at any age. And beautiful at any age.
